Friday, April 24, 2009

and the little frustrations...

Well to say the least my week has been a bit full. My grandmother went into the hospital due to a broke hip. She has succesful surgery and is in rehab now though. So good news indeed!

My laptop lost its ability to boot, which caused me to have to reformat it all, which caused me to lose my English paper, which I had to rewrite! Yeh frustration major. Plus you can not imagine the time it takes to put WOW back on a silly pc! But all back on now and English paper rewrote and turned in. AND saved on the external hard drive. So I must remember to save everything on that hard drive from now on!

I had a kinda blue feeling last night which creeped into greater strength after English class and I got my home work back. I did OK, but again ok is not good enough. So I really wish there was a way I could become better at not being so wanting to be perfect at all things and beating mself up emotionally and mentally when this does not happen. To bad I can not strive for perfection in the manner of being unperfect, HUH!

So this lead me to do pretty much nothing but fal asleep watching a film on the couch. So low and behold when I wokr up this am, I checked my email! Well, my new job that I have been working on since last Novemeber, yehte govt is indeed slow BUT when they are ready tey are ready. So they send me an email telling me I start MONDAY, sheesh! Thanks for the heads up I get to give my current job huh! I feel guilty r giving such little notice but that just the way it is. I feel unready to commit myself to a full time real job (I work for an agency now where I can dictate when I am available to work) because of school and how tired it seems I am because of what I am alreadydoing. However the experience and the benifits and the money are all better. So that haas to be good. And we have goals we much reach in order to be able ot buy a house next year. I have to commit myself to that and taking this job is part of that! So I have to look forward positivly! I am hoping also if I am more set on a reglar schedule again and working harder (since my current job is cheese) that I will sleep better and be more active, thus making me not as tired as I have been. Since it is a drained feeling, not really physical tiredness. So let us hope so!

(sigh)

Today and everyday I am thankful to have a supportive husband who is understanding, positive beyond all things and accepting of who I am, especially when Iam evil!

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