Saturday, July 23, 2011

stuck in thought

I have seriously have a lot going on. Sort of. I mean with a job change and life in general I suppose. I do have some other serious things going on, at least in my head. I cannot talk about those but they are there.

You would think I would get more journaling done, but I have not. I am trying to not let myself feel guilty for this. Because well that would be silly to be guilty for no real reason. It is just that journaling is one of the way to deal with change, and thoughts and such. Yet I have been in denial, I suppose. In some ways and therefore have been just stuck in repetitive thought processes of how to deal, what to do, etc.

I know this indeed is not helping and now I have to come to closure on some of these thoughts so that I can bring myself to a good balanced place for when I start my new job the 1st of August.

I feel if I do not that I am only bringing more trouble to myself that is not helpful. It is hard enough to transition to a new job, but to one that is dynamically different in hours, days, and what you do on a daily basis, is doubly so.

Separating yourself, life, what you love and your job because it is a job, it is not who you are. Sometimes is difficult. Add onto that your own personal thoughts and needs and what is actual, brings more challenges.

And I have two new classes I have started, that I serious want to do and focus on bu have lacked the ability to focus. I have started on them and am enjoying them, the learning the process and all that. But I find that I want to just hide myself away and to cope with some of the things my head and heart is thinking. And on top of that i have three journals which have to be done by the 1st for an order. They are half way done, but I have not worked on them at all so far this weekend.

I cannot seem to find my way out of the hole of my thoughts that I have surely dug for myself.


  1. Did it help to put it out there on the blog? I find that just that step sometimes helps. I hope it did for you.

    Sometimes I just give myself permission to just take the time and focus entirely on the issue. Like give yourself an entire day or a weekend (you're worth it)--off the hook from anything else, you know? No distractions like TV, other people (except if they are someone who is good at helping you sort things out in your head), duties, etc---and just dig deep. Find out what is really bothering you and think about what is the best way to deal with it. A lot of times things aren't as serious as we think they are or we don't really need to "do" anything but let go inside of us or forgive ourselves or someone else.

    I hope you resolve the issues before you start your new job. Yes, the new job is a big enough shift that you want yourself clear. Very best to you!! *hugs*

  2. Rita, it does help to blog it indeed. Another reason I keep and love my blog!

    Yeh I need a good weekend where I can just get away from everyone and everything and think. I wish it was not so hot outside and I could go think outside somewhere, lol. I do have some super awesome friends who listen and help me rationalize things and such.

    For now the issue is better and I should be good to start work without it weighing me down in a negative manner. :) Thank you for stopping by and giving me good advice and good wishes! Always appreciated.

  3. Glad to hear that. Makes me happy. :)