Friday - sharing tough stuff

PLEASE BE AWARE: this could be a triggering read for some, I do discuss feelings and share feelings as I am bereaving.

Good morning all! It is super early (703AM), at least for me on a Friday that is a day off. Normally I would sleep in since I am such a night owl. I have had about 3 hours of sleep, and could not get back to sleep so I got up to try and get my creative juices going. As well as handle an overwhelming  amount of adult responsibilities.

This has by far been an overwhelming month, my husband was laid off 3 weeks ago (he is back to work at a new job now), I took PTO for the July 4th holiday which I never do and was so excited about it and I got bit by a tick and injured my back seriously bad (could be tick related or a pinched nerve yes it still hurts, this was last Monday), and my father passed on Sunday. So pretty much the worse stay cation I have had thus far.

NOW, yes that is overload, but I am doing well, other than the anger I have from the disrespectful and nasty relatives who deflect their own issues onto you to create conflict and guilt. It is hard enough to deal with a death of a person  you love, a parent and not add in if that relationship had forms of toxicity itself. Now I have  moved past that as I have grown as a person. I loved my father, accepted him for who he was and know he loved me, even if sometimes it was unhealthy and manipulative. With all that being sad, it is still so hard when you have individuals who deflect their guilt and anger onto you and you are an empathetic healer who seeps up other energies too easily. And if not well protected, grounded, it is hard to not let them leech onto me, and in a time when you are vulnerable because you have lost a loved one and have an overwhelming amount of sadness, and also knowing that you are now the one who has to take care of everything as the responsible one, is difficult. Add in those who are childish and ignorant, and also have taken advantage of your father, abused them, it is heartbreaking and angering. And it angers me more so that I let myself get to a point where I was angry and responded to some of it. That however is at a end, I will no longer let them try and make me feel guilty when I was stable in my relationship with my father and know the truth of myself. Their issues and how they must move forward are for them to deal with. Now knowing all that and being a mature stable individual is not always enough, but I know that somewhere in all this, there is another lesson for me to learn to make me a better person.

As a wise friend reminded me,  you cannot rationalize with the irrational. And I have to continue to remind myself of this as I move forward. And it will help, but there is is still anger and some fear, as I deal with unstable addicts.

Today, I move forward to make this day a productive creative day where I work on healing, letting go of the anger. As well as more than likely taking a nap I hope!

Please know I have an amazing support system of friends and work family, plus my mother, husband and brother. Just sharing those feelings, that sadly I know too many of us have shared in similar circumstances.

Mom's Quilt and how it is already April 9???

In January I remember writing all those grand plans and being so focused. What the hell has happened? How are we already to April 9th, and of course I overall feel I have not done much. HOWEVER, that is not true really. But I definitely could have gotten more done in the last 3 months and week...

I can say I am doing really great on my number of books to read this year that Goodreads thankfully keeps track for me! I have read 8 of 27 books so far! One book ahead of schedule. maybe this year I will not only read 27, but beat it! I also overestimate at the beginning of the year and then waiver on towards the end. But i have found that audio books really work for me! I am able to listen while sewing, painting and even while at work sometimes.  

But on to the real fun stuff and pictures! I finally quilted this quilt that I machine pieced for my mom back in 2010...sheesh 2010 really...I actually have another one in a different colorway for myself that I may eventually finish, it still needs the sashing and cornerstones sewn to it, but that one has cornerstones that are tiny pinwheels...haha yeh so not done yet. If you are interested in these patterns I followed a long a quilt a long on PS I quilt's blog. I think it is still over on her blog even though she is quiet these days sadly, but taking care of her family which is important. 

So here I am with ma cute face and the quilt all quilted. 

And a shot of it on the machine I was using. I rented this machine from a lovely lady about 50 minutes from where I live. 

 And what I felt that day was the only decent quilted spot on it. Now that I have it back home and even finished the binding last night, I do feel it looks better than I originally thought. it has been so long since I free motioned quilted, and never on a long arm, a learning curve of course. And again finished is better than perfect, thanks Angela Walters! 

 I had hoped to also have a video up on YT since I took a short stay-cation, 3 days off work. But I spent a majority of the time sewing, and it was fantastic!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks for stopping by! More creative projects to come! :)

Welcome Spring - Greetings Ostara!

Today, that first day of Spring..it is rainy and cold here in TN and will more than likely snow in the next 48 hours. Not heavy snow, but nonetheless, TN weather gives me anxiety!

I hope you are all fairing well and will warm up soon, but not too hot. Before you know it is will be summer and I will be mad it is is hot.  :)

Fall is my fav!!!!!!!!

But I will not wish my days to go by faster to get there, embrace the day and what comes.

New Kid On the Block - Lady Mia

We recently rescued a new fur babe! An 8 month old Great Pyrenees. Her name is Mia and was sadly with a young couple who are getting divorced and also not taking care of their two new pups. Another family near where they live took in the other guy who was a mixed breed and very hyper. We knew about Mia as the original owners were neighbors to some of our family. They were taking care of her and trying to find her a good home. And here we all are now. She came home Sunday and yesterday I worked at home so I could keep an eye on everyone and how they were adjusting. They have adjusted OK, but she does have some food aggression, not bad, but she thinks it is all hers and doesn't want everyone else to eat it. lol

Today they are all home alone....hoping the house is still there when I get home and she has not chewed it all up. While in the shower she had managed to find one of Jes' socks and a bag of cough drops I had on the nightstand by the bed. PUPPY LIFE!

I will share more pics later and let you know how the house ends up when I get home later!

Be Blessed everyone!

Creamy Chicken Chili

I thought I would share my recipe for the chili I made back in October, since it was apparently good people said. I also must admit, I liked it! And I am a pretty picky eater.  ENJOY and please let me know what you think if you make it!

Repurposed Frame - Inkling

For 2016 I purchased an Inkwell Press planner. If you wish for more information on that please visit their website at Inkwell Press or do a search on YouTube and you will find lots of reviews and videos. The planner world is huge and full of options that I will not get into on this post. :)

So what is this post about??? When you receive your planner you also get an inkling, which is a quote for you. Packed randomly, yet they always seem to get to who they need to. Mine is "follow your arrow". Below is a picture of how I currently am keeping it. Framed in a frame I got from the reuse place for under $2.00. Not 100 percent happy with it as I think the word dreams distracts from it, but happy enough with it until I find a different frame.

Game Dice Embroidered Bag

Urban Threads designs online is  a great resource for creative, modern, funky, vintage...pretty much all kinds of embroidery designs, I love them. Not only do they have great designs and tutorials and freebies, they have awesome customer service! I recently ordered a set of cute small designs, 4x4 inch designs, here is a link to the designs I got.

I decided to make a dice bag as I did need one and they had a tutorial that I figured I would try. A few things I discovered as I went along. I suck at cutting circles and I should always measure for my liking even if it is different from what they are saying in the tutorial. The tutorial is  well laid out and fairly easy to follow. I have experience sewing though so for those who are beginners, make sure you read all the way through it once or twice before you start. The end product is OK, but I do plan to make another as there really is not enough room at the top for the cord and then to leave a nice looking top scrunched up. You will see what I mean in the pictures below. When making it I thought it might not be, but I continued to follow the measurements in the tutorial. You could also place the design lower to make up for that but next time I will just add to the top, that way there is more room for error with the design and top area.

Thread used were Sulky 40 wt rayon (light to dark) 1121, 1109, 1192 and Poly-lite 1195 in my bobbin.

Smile Sunshine!

Just a quick share of a watercolor page I created recently. This is a off balanced scan of it. I am also not entirely sure a good representation of the colors. I used my Koi watercolor set on this one and there were not too many yellow choices. BUT I got some new watercolors this week and It has more yellows and oranges and all kinds of yummy colors I look forward to using this weekend. I love seeing all the galaxy paintings and I really want to give that a try and see how they come out. I will also be making more of the ones above for some friends to remind them to smile more! :D  

BABIES!

I have to say if you do not get excited about babies, you may have a problem. :D

Here is a baby quilt I made for a baby shower this month. I impressed myself because I started it the Saturday before the shower, which was on Friday. It took me about 4 maybe 5 hours from start to finish. Hand sewing the binding took me the longest I think.

 I am very happy with the finished result and so is the momma and daddy and baby I am sure soon too!